Will You Forgive Me, Blog?

After ditching this blog because of its slow traffic (my own fault), I realize now it was a mistake. Why start over with a new blog but the same issues? Long story short, I created a blog, that did nothing but suffer all thanks to me. Poor blog. R.I.P PunkRockMommySeekingJesus.

However, with the sadness of losing another blog to the awful realization of being..dun dun dun..unpopular, I have decided to make my way back to my original blog. The one created just to say what I want to say. No special agenda, no trying to be cool like other mom blogs, it was just me. And at this point, I feel much better just being me again. Hey, isn’t that the way to go anyways?

So, without any further ado, I’m back.

Expect to see me blogging away again at MomWomanHuman@wordpress.com

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My New Years Resolutions.

Nowadays, a lot of people are rather cynical about the idea of New Years resolutions. Most people never fulfill them and end up stopping setting any in the following years. I, on the other hand, still believe in setting resolutions. I like the idea of changing something for the better and putting an effort towards something. I made quite a few last year, and achieved two of them. This year, I’m really looking forward to diving into my resolutions and setting goals for myself. There’s something refreshing and liberating about it. You have control over what you set, and whether or not you achieve it. Isn’t that awesome!?!?

So, here are my 2013 resolutions:

  1. Work on my overall health: Physically, Mentally, Emotionally…all that good stuff. Last year I wanted to lose all of the pregnancy weight I was packing around (and loathing), and I did it! This year, I want to lose the extra 5-10 pounds and just start doing better for my body. More exercise, eating better, etc. Also working on my mental health as well. I’ve always struggled with BPD and depression. I’ve come a long way in the past couple years, but I know I can get even better. Emotionally is gonna be the tough one. I’m one of those people who seem to have no emotion at all, until I’m angry. I come off as cold and numb. Which, I think I am pretty numb to most things. Maybe callused is a better word for it. I never seen a problem with it, except for everyone thinking I don’t like them or am just a robot. So, I’d like to work on expressing myself more toward others, even though it’s going to be terribly uncomfortable.
  2. Be better at everything: Mom, Girlfriend, Daughter, Sister, House cleaner, Writer, Photographer, Writer, person, EVERYTHING I DO. I just want to give my best effort into what I care about. I think it’s good for everyone to do that, but a lot of the time we get so caught up in the day after day that we forget to make sure we really are being the best us we can be.
  3. Write more: I love to write. It’s like therapy to me. But I don’t do it hardly enough. I get so busy with everything around me I forget to make time for it. I’d really like to try to write everyday or at least a few times a week.
  4. Read more: Just like the writing, I love to read, but never make the time. I finished ‘The Perks Of Being A Wallflower’ a few weeks ago and absolutely loved it. I forget how great a feeling it is to be so wrapped up in a book that life seems to stop. I’d like to experience that more often this year.
  5. Figure out something to do with myself: I’m extremely sick of feeling so lost and directionless when it comes to my future. I hope to find something to point me in the right direction. I want to go to school, find a career I love, and support my family. It’s seeming to be much harder for me than it should be. I hope to take a step this year toward the future I want.

Those are the things I want to/plan to work on in the coming year. I know I can achieve them all.

What are your resolutions????

April the 10th: Nostalgia and A Little Princess

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This is what I consider a great day. Sun is shining, Rayne is playing, and I get to relax with a book.

Of course it didn’t last very long. Rayne wanted to go to my Grandmother’s house. She lives next door to us and had made strawberry shortcakes. Rayne ate one, plus some jello. I tried to relax on the porch, but it wasn’t long until she joined me and wanted to climb over everything. And the clouds rolled in, so it became quite chilly.

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I was feeling tired and drained, so we decided to walk home. Which is just a walk across the orchard.

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I stopped when I saw this tree. When I was little I had a swing set right under this tree. The flowers are blooming and it smells like my childhood. I can’t describe the smell, but it was nice. Comfort mixed with nostalgia. I wanted to sit under the tree for the rest of the day and read. But I knew Rayne wouldn’t allow it. So I went inside and watched a movie I loved years ago,

A Little Princess.

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I loved this movie so much when I was little. I love that it encourages using your imagination and says all girls are princesses. One of my favorite lines from the movie: “I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses. All of us.” 

I think that’s a wonderful thing to teach little girls. Not only that they are princesses, but we ALL are. It teaches them to have respect for themselves and other girls. We all know how nasty girls can be to each other. 

Of course watching it just added to my nostalgia. But that’s okay, Rayne enjoyed watching it too. Especially the parts with the Indian story “The Ramayana”. Maybe it’ll become one of her favorites. 

Anyway…Today has been less than great, but not bad at all. Perhaps I’ll sleep better tonight and have more energy tomorrow.