Basking In My Non-Perfect-Parentness.

It’s no secret that “perfect” parents do not exist. 

Image

In the beginning I think we all feel the need to be “perfect“. We have this vision of the kind of parent we want to be, and we’ll be so much better/cooler than other parents who can’t seem to get it right. We have all the answers. Then we actually have a kid and, oh shit, we don’t have any answers at all. We’re fumbling around like blind rats trying to juggle while walking a tight rope. Suddenly, we suck. The realization hits. This shit is HARD.

Image

I can openly admit to going through the “I have the answers” phase. I know I have made other parents feel bad, even if I really didn’t mean to. I was just all stuck up and thought I knew better than them and that’s why their kids were cray. I quickly grew out of that phase after the first year with my daughter. I think most parents go through a sort of transition with their first child. At some point we realize we aren’t perfect, nor will we ever be. And we loosen up, let go of things that really don’t matter so we can have some sort of sanity, and so we don’t destroy our children. 

Image

Today I am proud to say I AM NOT A PERFECT PARENT BY ANY MEANS. I know that being perfect in any aspect of life is impossible. But that doesn’t stop me from having mom guilt, judging myself, judging other parents, and feeling like shit when other parents on their high horses make stupid comments that I know are ridiculous, but still bug me anyways.

Image

Okay, so, there’s this mom whom I follow on Instagram. I typically like following her, but today she posted something that really got under my skin. She started off with how she’s not a perfect parent. I was like, “Cool, me neither. Love seeing parents embrace their non-perfectness.” Then I read on to her reasons for not being a perfect parent….like, letting her daughter eat junk food once a month, or have some juice when they go out to eat on occasions, watch the baby channel twice a day even though “it’s tv, and not good“, or the fact that her daughter has had chips, cookies and has even tasted ice cream! *GASP* 

Image

Seriously? It’s like that really skinny friend who is always whining about being fat, knowing you’re bigger than she is but continues to talk about it in front of you. SHUT. UP.

Image

I’m not saying it was her intention to offend me or any other parent. But she did. If she thinks those things make her far from perfect, what would she think about my parenting? I honestly felt that if I mentioned the things that make me a non-perfect parent, she would judge me hardcore. If those tiny little things make her not perfect, I must be a train wreck of a parent!

Image

If she really is that strict, good for her, if that’s how she chooses to parent. But, in all honesty, when I hear parents talk about little things like that I feel like they aren’t being honest, and are actually looking for praise. You know, for someone to say, “Oh, if that’s all you do wrong then you’re an amazing parent!” Like I said, if she really is that strict, good for her. Maybe I’m just getting offended because of my own insecurities. 

Image

 

You wanna know what makes me a non-perfect parent? (I can’t fit everything, but here’s a few):

  1. Rayne watches TV everyday. Anything from educational shows, not so educational shows, Family Guy *GASP*, American Dad *DOUBLE GASP*, and you know what? She’s watched Dexter with me. Yeah, that’s right, she’s watched Dexter. Get over it.
  2. She HATES veggies and is very picky about fruit. I would LOVE to feed her only healthy foods, but she’s picky and will have none of it. She eats whatever we eat. Which is anything from eggs and bacon, pasta, pizza, tacos, etc. I don’t typically eat or buy fast food, but, yeah, sometimes she has a freakin’ Happy Meal. 
  3. She drinks chocolate milk almost everyday. I don’t like giving her juice because she has had tummy problems with it in the past, and for the health of her teeth, but she is allowed to have Tummy Yummies (a juice with less sugar, plus vitamins).
  4. Speaking of teeth, she’s had two cavities already. Yep, I still feel awful about it. But what are you gonna do? She has a filling, and might have to get another for the second cavity. Yes, I try to make sure we brush her teeth, but that shits hard, and sometimes it doesn’t get done right due to her crying and kicking me away. 
  5. She doesn’t have a bath EVERYDAY. Sometimes, especially being almost 9 months pregnant, I’m too tired to get her in the sink or fight with her about a bath/shower. It’s not like I let her grow mold or walk around stinking. But sometimes I just don’t give an eff if she goes to bed with dirty hands, hair and feet. There’s always tomorrow. 
  6. Sometimes I raise my voice, or give a swat on her butt if it comes to that. Everyone has different opinions on discipline. Some people are very against spanking and whatnot. If you can discipline your child without ever losing your shit, that’s great. But I don’t see anything wrong with a little butt swat or a firm voice when it’s needed. You don’t know how sassy my kid gets or how difficult she can be sometimes. So I discipline how I see fit for our little family. And honestly, I hardly ever use a spanking. But I have no problem using it. I grew up with very harsh punishments. And I know I would never use any of them on my children. I never even feel tempted to. So when people say spanking your kid makes them think hitting you or someone else is okay, you’re wrong. I was beaten with a belt, hanger, phone cord, etc. and never once hit my parents or anyone else. And that isn’t counting the abuse I endured. I can honestly say I have never even thought of using anything close to that on my child. 
  7. I don’t care if she eats dirt. God made dirt, dirt don’t hurt. The end.
  8. She hardly ever brushes her hair. I do not brush my hair. I have thick wavy hair that only frizzes when I attempt to put a brush through it. So, I don’t think I should be able to tell her she has to use a brush either. It’s nice to get it combed out, but it really doesn’t seem important to me if her hair is out of place.
  9. I don’t care about what clothes she wears. I usually let Rayne pick out her own clothes, if she chooses to wear clothes at all. Obviously, if we’re going out of the house she needs clothes. But if we’re staying in, I don’t care if she stays in jammies all day or runs around in her underwear. And when she does wear clothes, they usually don’t match. Who really cares? Since when is a child’s outfit important? I think letting her wear what she wants and choosing what she likes gives her independence, and lets her express herself how she chooses.
  10. I don’t have a bedtime for Rayne. Yep, that’s right. I don’t make her go to bed at any certain time. If she’s up till 11pm, oh well. Usually I will tell her she’s gotta start calming down and getting in bedtime mode, but I never force her to go to bed at a certain time. BFD

Image

These are only 10 reasons off the top of my head that make me SO NOT PERFECT. I’m sure there’s a lot more though. My point is, I’m willing to admit these things, and I can’t say that I actually feel bad about any of them. My child is never in harms way, she is healthy, smart, kind, and constantly impressing me with how quickly she learns. I don’t have any concerns about her development. So what she watches TV? So what she doesn’t eat broccoli? So what she’s usually dirty, has messy hair and stays up late? SO EFFING WHAT?! She’s my daughter, and she’s wonderful, despite all these terrible things I expose her to. 

Advertisements

Good morning.

Image

First things first. Rayne insists we watch her shows every morning. She snuggled up next to me as we watched her favorites. After a while I realized how disgusting our room is. I try to clean our room at least 2-3 times a week. Rayne cannot stand a clean room. She will walk into our newly clean room, and immediately throw books off their shelves, drag out all of her toys, and smash food into the carpet. Sometimes I just stop trying and let it happen. Which is always a mistake because it ends up looking like a dump within 24 hours. But it’s not like I can follow her around with a broom and garbage can 24/7. 

So today I plan on cleaning this dump. While I was giving the mess a quick glance to see what I was facing for the day, I noticed something a little odd.

Image

I got a little closer and found this. I have been searching high and low for this sippy cup for days. Rayne lost it a few days ago, while it contained milk. How she got it hooked on the back of the book shelf, I haven’t a clue. The smell is just awful. But I’m glad I found it before it got any worse. Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me today.

I hate allergies and yard work.

Today’s weather is very out of the norm for April. It’s close to 80 degrees and all sun. Now, I enjoy a sunny day just like everyone else. But I like to stay in the 60-65 degree weather. 80 is just too hot for me. On top of that, my allergies have been acting up since this morning. I’ve taken two different brands of pills that claim to work for at least 12 hours, non-drowsy. So far they aren’t working. AND we have to do yard work today. You see how this is just not going my way? 

I got Rayne all ready to go outside and help (get in the way). I SPF-ed her up and she picked out some shorts, a tank top and fairy wings. We headed out to join in the sweaty, blistering work. We pulled a wagon around for my mom, and within 2 seconds (literally) of me turning my back to pull it around to the right spot, Rayne was walking toward the street. She was about a foot away from the road, with a big white van coming right toward her. I snatched her up out of the way, and had a mini heart attack. I could already tell this yard work business was not going to work. But I tried to make it work by coaxing her into picking dandelions while I weeded. She wasn’t having that either. She made her way across the yard and onto the porch where she climbed up into a chair. A plastic chair that had been sitting in the sun. She burnt her legs and was too afraid to try to get out of it. So I decided enough is enough. I took her out of the chair and we went inside, where it was cooler, and she could rest. I gave her some ice water and made lunch for everyone who was continuing to work outside in the hot sun. I made Rayne and I some lunch as well. She picked at it, and wouldn’t even try the watermelon. But once I took out a Little Debbie chocolate cupcake, she suddenly was very hungry. I tried getting her to take a bite of watermelon before the cupcake, but she just faked it. I don’t feel like forcing her today, so I split the cupcake with her. 

We’re sitting inside now. I’m waiting for her to take a nap. It doesn’t look like she’s planning on taking one even though she didn’t go to bed until past midnight last night, but I can hope. I’d take a nap no problem! I know she doesn’t want to go back outside, but I don’t want her to watch tv all day either. My next plan? Shut off the cartoons and make her help me clean the house! That way I can peel her eyes away from the television, and do my part for the day. It wouldn’t be fair if they did all the work and I took a nap. 

Anywho…I’m hoping my allergies settle down and Rayne takes a little rest so we can enjoy the sunny day. I hope you’re enjoying your day, too!

The Dude.

After creating a masterpiece dessert, I decided to chillax and see what happened to be on the tube on this lazy Sunday. To my pleasant surprise one of my most favorite movies is playing.

Image

I will watch The Big Lebowski whenever it is on. It’s gotta be in my top 5 favorite movies of all time. I didn’t even know about this movie until one of my very good friends told me I should watch it two years ago. I trusted him because we have very similar taste in music and movies. He was right. This movie is a classic. Everyone should love it.

Image

Also…If “The Dude” was a real person, I would definitely like to marry him. Although, he isn’t the marrying type. Ya can’t hold The Dude down. He’s just too cool.