The love of my life from day one & Toddler dorm room.

In August of this year, Rayne will be 2 years old. In the past 6 months, she has become a whole new child.

August 23rd 2010, I went into labor. I was 38 weeks pregnant. I started having contractions around noon. They were getting more often throughout the day. I was getting so nervous. One of my closest friends came over to see me and was super excited that that could potentially be “the day”. As my contractions were getting more intense, and closer together, I got more nervous. I kept saying “5 more minutes”. Then my contractions were 5 minutes apart, so everyone declared it was time to go. I wasn’t feeling a lot of pain. Most of my contractions were just discomfort and pressure. But they were consistent. We got to Portland Adventist at 7pm. I walked into labor&delivery and told them my contractions were 5 minutes apart, they took me into my room. Which, funny enough happened to be the same room another friend of mine had given birth to her son a few years prior. I had to take a UTI test, then they got me hooked up to all sorts of things. I was scared. I remember them asking me questions, and before I knew it my contractions started getting really painful.

The nurses concluded that I had a terrible UTI and that was the cause of my contractions, not labor. So they hooked me up to some sort of drip to help and that would “for sure” stop the contractions. I disagreed, because I had never had any symptoms or signs of a UTI, and I just knew I was really in labor. But I went with it.

Soon my contractions were so painful I could hardly breathe. To top it all off, the belt that measures contractions, wasn’t working. It wasn’t keeping track of them or measuring them. So the nurses didn’t know how much pain I was actually in. They said I couldn’t have an epidural until I was 4cm dilated. I was 1 1/2cm. My contractions were very close together and extremely painful. I was completely out of it.

The nurse came in and took my temperature, I had a fever. She also brought it to my attention that Rayne hadn’t been moving as much as they would like, but her heart rate was rather high. They worried that she had contracted my UTI and fever. At that point I started to cry. I was in so much pain and so worried about my little girl. The nurse said I still couldn’t have an epidural but she could give me something else to help. I remember asking, “Will it take this pain away?”. She said, “No, but it’ll make it so you don’t care anymore”. I agreed to it. She put it into my IV. In a matter of maybe 2 minutes, I felt it. I could feel the pressure and pain, but I couldn’t complain about it. I was seriously doped up on I don’t even know what. I lost all sense of time. I didn’t know what was going on, who was in the room, or what anyone was doing or talking about. I remember them bringing in an ultrasound tech to check on Rayne. They wanted to make sure she was okay, and see whether or not they needed to do a c-section. I laid there motionless. Totally high. I heard a phone ringing..and ringing and ringing. The room was all dark. I didn’t know who was in the room besides the nurse and Ultrasound tech. But I started mumbling for them to “shut that phone up”. I can’t remember much after that until the nurse came in to check my progress. I was finally 4cm dilated. She called the anaesthesiologist and he was there rather quickly from what I remember. I remember him trying to explain everything to me. I wasn’t listening but said “okay”. I laid on my left side, hunched around my belly. I wasn’t allowed to move at all. This made it more difficult when the contractions hit. They were very close together. I think 1 minute apart, at most. I held onto the side bar of the bed and tried my best to focus on whatever I could find, and breathe. It took him longer than expected. As I was laying on my side, I felt a pop…then my bed filled up with wetness. “Uhh…My water just broke”, I said nonchalantly. It literally felt like a water balloon had popped inside my uterus. After he set up my epidural, which had been at least a half hour, They rolled me over. She checked my progress again, 8cm. From 4cm to 8cm within and hour. Finally I was getting somewhere. And now I could relax without pain. They shut off the light and let my try to nap until push time. I remember drifting in and out of light sleep. I was feeling pressure that was new. It was time. I was nervous. But really excited. I called the nurse and told her. She checked…yep..her head was right there.

She called my doctor and told her to hurry. I had my mom on one side of me, and Rayne’s father on the other. I was pain free and fully coherent. She said it was time for a couple practice pushes. I did a couple…then she told me to stop because she was about to come out and we had to wait for the doctor. I started laughing….that didn’t help the situation. She began to laugh, too, and told me I was about to laugh her out. In my opinion, that would be a great way to enter the world! But we had to wait, she said. Soon the doctor came and had me push. It was about 5-10 minutes before she was laying on my belly crying. 3:10 am, August 24th 2010. They said the same thing to me as the doctors and nurses said to my mother, “You’re made for having kids!”, I didn’t know how to take that.

I looked at her and couldn’t help but have the biggest smile possible across my face. I looked up at her father, we both had tears in our eyes, but we didn’t cry. I looked down at her and said, “Hey”. She stopped crying and calmed down. He cut her cord, then they took her and set her on a table to take measurements and weigh her. 6 lbs. 5.9oz. and 19 inches long. They didn’t tell me until afterwords, but she was born double corded. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice. But she was completely fine, and totally healthy.

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My little girl was RIGHT THERE. In front of me. This whole time you’re pregnant, expecting a baby, seeing ultrasounds and feeling her move around, but it never really sinks in or seems real. Now she was real. They handed her to me and I started to feed her. The smile couldn’t leave my face.

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After a sleepless night, there were many people coming in to see us. People trying to sell us stuff and take our photos. Everyone that came in said I had an amazing glow. I felt it.

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Now, March 12th 2012, My daughter is half way to 2 years old and growing up before my eyes. She’s so independent and sassy. She’s a “big girl” now. Using the grown up toilet, Sleeping in a toddler bed, and as of today has no more baby toys, but has a pull-out princess couch and princess tent. It’s like a dorm for a toddler. She walks around doing what she pleases. She likes to do things on her own terms. She doesn’t like being told what to do, or forced to do anything. It has to be when she wants to do it and how she wants to do it. She is a mini me. Every personality trait in her, I know is from me. Everything that drives me nuts about her and at the same time makes me so proud of her, is everything in myself that makes me feel the same.

I am so proud of her already. I know she’ll continue to blow my mind with how blessed I am to be her mother.

Here are some pictures from today when Rayne walked into her newly upgraded bedroom/hangout.

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Image And this is what she decided to do with the activity space. : /

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5 thoughts on “The love of my life from day one & Toddler dorm room.

  1. What a stellar job you’ve done describing that “lovely” wait in the hospital — and the joy that defies most efforts at description. You have a beautiful little blessing there — and I’m glad she likes her “big girl” digs!

  2. thank you for writing in this blog or whatever it is, for the first time im learning about my daughter as a women and mother, if this is the way i can get to know you then ill take it! and be thankfull for it.
    im so very proud of you, you seem to be a very inteligent and great hearted person, jordan i love
    you and rayne and cant wait someday to meet you both. love dale.

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